Are you finding it difficult to face the audience?
Are you getting anxious and nervous when meeting new people?
Are you not able to make a presentation Infront of people even though you know the topic very well?
Are you having problem in sleeping without leaving the lights on?
Do you feel uncomfortable when you have to walk through a crowd looking at you?
Do you get wet hands or shivering hands when you meet some strangers or supervisors at work or when you have to face an interview?
Do you fail to perform in the exams even though you have prepared well and know the answers well?
If your answer is ‘Yes’ for any of the above questions, then this article will help you deal with it yourself. Read on.
Why are you feeling this way?
Well, your possibilities to perform or act in the right manner has nothing much to do with your capabilities whereas, it is to do with your subconscious mind. These limitations are due to the ‘Limiting Beliefs’ that you have been carrying in your mind. Interestingly, these are most likely caused by others in your life, whose wrong actions or comments intentionally or without realizing the impact on you. Most likely, these limiting beliefs would have gone deeper into your subconscious mind when you were very young. Unfortunately, these destroy your future, hinders you from achieving what you are really capable of achieving.
Who are the culprits?
It is sad to realize that, in most of the cases, these damages are caused by parents, teachers or friends/peers. It is important to understand that when you deal with children, what you speak and how you speak will impact your children positively or negatively depending on how you say it. Say for example, comments like “You are good for nothing”, “You are an idiot. You will always do only stupid things”, “You will never improve” You can not do this”, “You are as slow as a snail” repeated multiple times gets registered in their sub-conscious mind and gets deeper and deeper every time they hear the same. Some parents and teachers compare students which does even greater harm. Similarly, having to face a scary situation in life could lead to being fearful about people (social phobia), fear darkness (claustrophobia), fear of being alone (autophobia), fear of lightning and thunder(astraphobia) and many such problems.
However, most important of all is the insecurity people face when they are with other people who have ever faced sexual molestation and exploitation. Most of the cases the culprits in this case would be people who were supposed to protect them, which makes them not trust anyone in their life. Some of these problems need professional help. If you think the problems you are facing, is severe and is seriously impacting your life, do not wait anymore. Seek the help of a professional counselor. I would NOT recommend approaching a psychiatrist, as they tend to start people on medication. I strongly believe that these can be addressed with the help of a good counselling sessions using various therapies.
Can I deal with these fears and overcome myself?
Yes, of course. Majority of cases can be dealt with easily. There are many things you can do yourself. Here are some of the ‘Self help’ therapies you can practice and get rid of your limiting beliefs and come out successfully. However, if these therapies do not help, then seek professional help. Please remember that once you overcome these fears, you will be more productive, confident and eventually far more successful too.
Self-help Therapies:
It is important to understand what causes you to behave one way, based on the past experiences you had. When you go through an uncomfortable or horrific situation, it gets registered in your mind and each time when you reflect on it, these messages get deeper and deeper in your subconscious mind. Your way of reacting to same or similar situations will be guided by the messages come from your subconscious mind. These are called internal dialogues. Therefore, the key to get rid of these problems are to clear this baggage from your mind, to be precise from your subconscious mind. The following techniques could be tried.
Technique 1: Take the bull by the horns.
Bull always attacks with its horns. The secret of taming a bull is to control it by its horns. You would have seen videos of Bull fighters taking it by its horns. Consider the fear as a bull that attacks you and make you fail. Deal with it head on. I know it not easy. Raise as much courage as possible to face the problem once. Once you face it, you will get all the courage to face it again. Let me quote some analogies here.
Anyone trying to learn to ride a bicycle, will be scared of falling or hitting somewhere, until he/she is able to balance it for some distance once. After that he/she will not have any fear at all. Similarly, people who are trying to learn swimming, will be scared of drowning, until they are able to float or swim for a short distance. Then they will not have such fears anymore. You would have seen some swimming instructors push their wards to the water to get rid of their fear. Therefore, secret here is to go head on with your fear.
People who have stage fright, prepare a speech or presentation thoroughly, rehearse it multiple times and attempt it in front of an audience. Anyone with fear of darkness, try and stay in a dark place alone for some time. Once you realize that nothing will happen, then it gets registered in your subconscious mind and that will help you overcome that forever.
Technique 2: Self-suggestion to your Subconscious mind
If what gets registered in your subconscious mind is what causes you these fears, can you not rewrite them or erase them? Of course, yes. You can. You can repeatedly make positive affirmations and it will get registered in your subconscious mind. Write down positive affirmation statements like – “I am confident”, “I am smart”, “I am fearless”, “I am a smart public speaker”, “I am a quick learner”, “I am beautiful/handsome” etc., depending on your areas of concerns. Repeatedly say this to yourself. Write it on a chart paper and stick it on your desk or wall and read it as many times as possible, preferably louder. This will do the trick. You will soon start seeing the results. There are Positive affirmation audio files are available on the internet which you could listen while you go to bed. These would help too.
Technique 3: Take advantage of the power of your imagination.
Most of us have a belief that God almighty or Guardian angel or at least someone whom you trust will be there to help you and support, when you are in trouble. If so, whenever you know, you are going to face the challenge, close your eyes for a few minutes and imagine this figure being with you to support you and help you sail through the situation. This will help you get positive and confidence-boosting internal dialogues back from your subconscious mind. Thus, you will be able to face the situation without fear.
The above techniques are simple yet powerful self-help methods anyone could practice and help improve your personality and thereby have a successful and more fulfilling future. Please note that, if these simple techniques do not work, remember to seek professional help. It is worth taking help to overcome these personality problems, rather than live with these limitations and fail in career and life.
Good luck and have a wonderful life.
Sony George
MD – SkillUp Global (www.skillupglobal.com)
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