Parenting practices across the globe follow/share the same goals. The predominant ones are ensuring child’s health and safety, developing the overall behavior of the child for a productive life, and disseminate cultural values. Whether a child becomes healthy, competent or productive depends on varied environmental and biological factors. Studies indicate that parenting approach form a prominent part of the success of their wards in the future.
We might not be able to answer the question with certainty, to what extent the behavioral aspects are shaped in children by the parental practices. However, we can be certain that parents play a crucial role in the behavioral outcome of the children. The attempt to analyze the influence of parenting methods on a child is way complex as there exist profuse range of parenting styles and an extensive range of behavioral outcomes. A survey results released recently by a research group found that people who demonstrated “supportive” child-rearing method, where parents paid them a lot of positive attention reported high salaries, academic success, and high levels of happiness. On the contrary, children subjected to a “strict” upbringing where parents offered them high levels of attention along with strict discipline reported high salaries and academic achievement, but lower happiness levels and increased stress.
There have been extensive researches conducted on the implications parenting styles have on the behavioral outcome and the future success of their wards. Based on them, parenting behaviors can be divided into 4 distinct styles which are Over-Protective, Authoritarian, Non-participative and Disciplinarian. Let us try and understand the typical outcome of each of parenting styles on the success of their future life and career
Being over-protective:
This is the most common parenting style prevalent in most Indian families nowadays, due to the emerging nuclear family structure and fewer (1-2) children. Most parents think that they need to be around to protect their wards from the unfair world around them. While this style will ensure smooth and easy life for their wards, most parents have no knowledge of the detrimental impact on the psychological and emotional growth of their wards and the ultimate impact on their success. Most of these children seem to demonstrate incompetency in dealing with difficult situations as well as difficult people. In this competitive world where the rule is ‘survival of the fittest’, these overprotected ones seem to miserably fail in the test of life. They tend to develop a sense of insecurity and lack of confidence in facing challenges as well as in decision making. This incompetence tends to cause disaster in their life and fall prey to the deceitful people around. Therefore, it is advisable to allow them to experience the world around them at their younger ages and equip them to deal with real life problems and challenges and solve problem on their behalf.
Authoritarian style:
Though only a minority of parents tend to follow this style, this seems to be the most harmful style of all. Such parent(s) usually demand their wards to behave as per the command without any consideration towards their choices, preferences, talents or areas of interests. These children will end up grown with regretful past, with lots of hurtful instances or resentments in their life which gets deeply registered in their sub-conscious mind. These resentments remain as unforgivable wounds in their sub-conscious mind which seriously impact their confidence and sometimes their ability to deal with other people in a matured manner. They tend to carry hatred for any sort of control, rules and dominant action they face in their career or life and over react to such situations. They tend to bottle up their emotions rather than vending out and sorting out things then and there. Unfortunately, such people are many a times misunderstood by people around them.
Non-participative:
Some parents allow no involvement of wards in decision making and financial management. They tend to have a prejudiced mindset that, they need to take the decision for their ward as they are not matured enough to take any decision. They also never trust their wards for handling money. These styles will make them grow up with lack of confidence in decision making and money handling. In their career or life, they tend to fully depend on others for such needs and they fall prey to people waiting to exploit others. It is important to allow your wards to make mistakes and learn from it, from a young age, to develop maturity in taking decisions and money handling. Giving them a small sum and asking them to track their expenses will inculcate the habit of matured money management and decision making. Once they learn these by themselves at a tender age, this will make them very matured in these aspects.
Disciplinarian:
There were always some sections of parents who tend to believe they need to disciple their wards in order to make them very disciplined adults. Unfortunately, in most cases the results are contrary. Their wards get suffocated due to over disciplinary measures and this makes them grow up with rebellious mindset. They typically, would end up with one or more personality issues. When they get some freedom, they tend to exploit it, to the extreme extend, and invite troubles in their lives.
To conclude, it is important for parents to understand the long-term impact of their parenting styles on the success of their wards as they grow up, and choose a balanced approach rather than sticking to one particular style.
Co-authored by :
Manju Mahadevan and Sony George
SkillUp Global